Conversations Through the Bathroom Door

I recently overheard two moms discussing how hard it is to be a mom. Specifically they lamented their lack of privacy and "me time." It appeared that these moms were not able to even use the bathroom without one or several of their children bothering pestering talking to them through the door.

Their children appeared to be between four and ten years old.

I don't want to sound smug or anything, but I do not have this problem. I have lots of other problems, but this is not one of them. Whether I am hiding from my family taking a time out or using the bathroom for its... Uh... Intended purpose, I do not have short people attempting to have conversations with me through the door.

How do I get away with this? I'm glad you asked.

I set specific boundaries and stick to them. Boundaries are a part of life, and the sooner my children learn to function with them, the happier everyone will be. There is a time and place for certain things, and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect 3-4 minutes of uninterrupted bathroom time a couple times each day.

Now, I will admit that when you have a little one running/crawling/scooting around, this is pretty much impossible. If this is you, take heart my friend. This season will not last forever and you will be able to use the bathroom without an audience before you know it!

Back to the "how I do it" part. Here is the only conversation I am willing to participate in through the bathroom door.

Child: Mom! Mom? Where are you?
Me: I'm in the bathroom.
Child: Can I... My brother just... Do you know where... Etc.
Me: Hold on a second. Are you bleeding from the head?
Child: No.
Me: Are you unconscious?
Child: No.
Me: Is the house on fire?
Child: No.
Me: Then whatever it is, it can wait for a few more minutes. I will let you know when I am available again. Please go and wait someplace that is not near this bathroom door.

At first, they tried various tactics, including whining, knocking on the door, stubbornly plopping down right outside the door, and sticking their pudgy little fingers under the door, but I persevered. And I may have given individual M&M'S to children who complied with the whole waiting-someplace-that-is-not-here direction. But mostly it was the perseverance thing.

Try It Out Tuesday - Natural Shoe Polish

Today's TioT has to do with shoes. Well, in this case, BOOTS.

What girl doesn't love shoes? I had my eye on some heavy duty boots a while back, but they were going to cost around $100. I started saving my pennies up. Now, I don't mind spending that much money on a good pair of boots because I literally wear them out. I have boots in my closet that I still wear (and love!) after 10 years. I've had my beloved hunting boots for nearly 14 years.

I happened to see a pair of boots very similar to the ones I wanted at Goodwill, and since I am not above buying awesome shoes & clothing items second hand, I jumped on that deal. (I later did a little research and discovered that I got an even better deal than I expected: I paid $12 for a pair of Harley Davidson boots that would have cost $150 brand new. And they were in pretty good shape!)

They were in need of a good polish, but I didn't have any shoe polish. Naturally, I did what any self respecting Pinterest addict freak enthusiast would do & searched for "homemade shoe polish" in the black hole time suck treasure trove that is Pinterest.

Here is the Pin on my board, and here is the original article.

SUMMARY:
Basically, this article says that you can polish your shoes just by rubbing the inside of a banana peel all over them, and then buffing them with a soft cloth. Sounds quick and easy, and since my kids & hubby love bananas, I always have some peels lurking around.

I need to pause here and tell you what an incredible sacrifice this pin was for me. I hate bananas. No, really.

I.

Hate.

Bananas.

The taste makes me hurl, and even the smell makes me gag. I also gag if I touch the actual banana or inside part of the peel. (This is serious progress. Before I had kids, I gagged from touching any part of a banana.) I cannot stand to be around them, and usually make my kids carry the offensive peels to the outside garbage can so that my pantry doesn't begin to smell like them. I hate artificial banana flavors/scents, and can detect even the smallest hint of banana in any recipe. (Usually because I gag.)

Clearly, this was going to be a personal challenge. Mind over matter. Me versus the banana peel.

So anyway,
I requested a banana peel from my oldest...

...and set to polishing...

...and this was the result of my efforts:

The boot on the right has been banana-polished. The boot on the left has not. (Also the boot on the left has not even been wiped off, as indicated by the dirt on the toe.)

Hmmm.....

Let's break it down.

For the Win!
Not much to say in this area. The banana had no overt adverse effects on my boots... but also had no real noticeable positive effects either. I didn't gag during this process, so I guess that's a win...

#Fail Factors:
There was no change in the sheen or condition of my boots. Some of the dirt came off during the process, but that wouldv'e happened without the detestable banana peel. It was kind of gross, and my kids looked at me like I was crazy. (Well, okay. Admittedly this last thing is nothing new.)

Will I Do This Again?
Not on your life. Again, there was no change. It was a complete waste of time. I still have to go buy some black shoe polish and redo my boots for real this time.

And also, now my boots smell like bananas. Maybe I should search Pinterest for "How to get a nasty banana odor off of awesome boots?"

Infant STUFF - My Faves

I am currently in an interesting stage of life. It's that one where it seems that everyone around me is just getting married, buying homes, and having their first babies... while Matt & I are getting ready to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary, are beginning the 10-year round of home fixits/improvements, and now have four children (three here, one in Heaven).

Yes, I feel old. Ahem.

As we are again enjoying life with an infant, I have looked around to all those new mommies around me and keep thinking to myself, "That's so cute! She's so naive... was I like that once?"

I'm afraid that yes, I was. Weren't we all? Our first baby was so overly protected, overly equipped, and overly attended to that it's amazing we had time to create any others! The second baby had to do with a little less: less attention, less time, less stuff. Our third has even less of all of that, and if we ever have a fourth, he/she will likely be foraging for food in the bottom of the pantry by the time he/she is a year old!

The main thing that strikes me is how our attitudes have changed regarding the stuff. Babies need a lot of stuff, and if you're not careful, that stuff can collect and mulitply to epic proportions. All of those new mommies around me are practically buying out Target and Babies-R-Us to equip their babies and their homes with everything imaginable, while we've purchased very few pieces of baby equipment (even though much of what we had for our first has been given away by now).

So, without further ado, I give you:

Keowdie's Top Seven Infant-Care Items She Could NOT Live Without

#7 - The Bouncer Seat

This item pretty much lives in the middle of our very open first floor. SugarPlum chills here when I cook dinner, when we eat dinner, during homework time, and pretty much any other time I can't hold her or wear her in the sling. During dinner every night, we put her in the bouncer and put the bouncer right in the middle of the dining table. This way she is already included in this important time of the day, and she's safe there, since we are all gathered around her. Which brings me to...

#6 - The (Fake) Mobi Wrap/Sling

I have two, which I made for less than the price of one with a name brand on it. This is a great way to keep SugarPlum close to me when I'm doing light house cleaning, working at the computer, walking around the neighborhood, etc. (I had just washed these, so they're still a little wrinkly & waiting to be put away.)

#5 - The Boppy Pillow(s)

We have two of these. One is the basic, and one came with detachable arches from which we can hang all manner of toys and visual/tactile stimuli. In the beginning, I pretty much only use them for nursing, but after a couple of weeks, we also use them for play time, snuggle time (when the big brothers hold her), and social time. *Note: The Boppy pillow should not be used for nap time. SugarPlum had fallen asleep while nursing and I kept vigilant watch over her the entire time she cat-napped here. Babies should also not be put to sleep on their sides or tummies, nor on a regular-person bed. Again, I never, ever, not-even-once-for-a-second left her alone while sleeping like this.

#4 - The cradle

Sorry, this particular model is not available in stores. My dad made this for our first baby, and I plan for it to be in the family for a long time to come. I love this cradle because SugarPlum can have her own space to sleep, while still being only a few feet away from me at night. Also, when our older two went through phases where they wanted to be rocked often, I just slid the cradle next to my bed and dozed while rocking the whole cradle (without having to get us both out of bed). Now we have hard wood floors, and when SugarPlum stirs in her sleep, she sets it to rocking on her own. Thanks to this little wonder here (in combination with #3, below), SugarPlum has already been sleeping 4-8 hours a night for weeks!


#3 - The Kiddopotamus

Speaking of sleeping, this little thing is amazing. We call it the "straightjacket." Our second baby, SweetPea, had serious problems with waking himself up due to the startle reflex that babies have. His could be a bit extreme, and in the beginning he wasn't getting more than a few minutes of sleep at a time. Once we wrapped him in the straightjacket, he slept, well, like a baby. Or like a rock. Yeah, the rock thing is more accurate. SugarPlum has similar issues, and this, when combined with the cradle (above) works like a charm!

#2 - The iBaby app

I'll be honest. I'm a big data nerd. I blame it on my career as a music therapist, but I like to know what's going on. I like to gather and examine data and information for trends. With my first two, I had a clipboard with a scatterplot that I carried everywhere with us. I used it to log frequency of diaper changes, frequency & duration of feedings, sleep, playtime activities, fussy times, etc. I still obsess over attend to this information, but gone are the days of the clipboard and pencil. Now I have this fantastic app for my iPhone, which I carry everywhere with me anyway. I am seriously loving this app. In addition to nursing, bottle feedings, diaper changes, sleep, and medications, it also tracks doctor's visits, immunizations, growth, milestones, solid foods, sickness, activities, and pumping. You can even add your own list of comments (I have one for tracking her spit-up during feedings so I can observe whether the reflux meds and my new dairy-free diet are helping her tummy!) And with just the touch of your finger it will put all the information into a daily summary, or will organize all information about one topic into a handy bar graph for that day, week, or month. Never again will I have to stop and count how many wet diapers the baby has gone through in the last 24 hours when the doctor asks me; I'll just pull it up on my phone!

And, the #1 Infant-Care Item that I could not live without is...

The Caddy

With my first two it was a basket. That basket was destroyed about a year ago, thank-you-very-much-SweetPea, AKA Rocket. With SugarPlum, I found this great caddy that I love even more than the basket. Remember how I said that babies need lots of stuff? Well, this is SugarPlum's caddy and it goes with her everywhere inside our home (and sometimes to the homes of relatives or friends when we visit). This is where I keep all those little things that new babies (and new mommies) need throughout the day. We have a small two story house, and this keeps me from making mad dashes to the other floor for the binkie, the thermometer, the bulb syringe, etc. I also keep a few things for me in here, including lip balm, a nail kit (because my skin & nails get really dry & brittle postpartum), and my lanolin. Later, when the baby outgrows the need for this, it will be kept on standby for whenever she gets sick. Then I'll pack it with medicine, tissues, the thermometer, etc., and it will follow her everywhere until she's healthy again.

Well, there you have it. The seven infant-care items that I couldn't live with out. Seriously, I could probably live without almost everything else we have. I know other mommy's lists will differ, but this is mine. It will change as SugarPlum grows (the next list will likely include the Bumbo seat!), but for now, this is all we really need.

What are your baby-care/child-care must haves?

The Brick!

Just because I'm feeling weird today. I stumbled upon this while tidying up my laptop.

I made this video for a class I took a couple of years ago.

My Poor Little Neglected Blog

This happens every school year. When I go back to work, life gets nuts and something's got to give. That something is always the blog. Lets be honest, the kids are too noisy to be neglected and I'd rather neglect my own hygiene than neglect my knitting!

I've got a couple weeks left of maternity leave (more on that in a moment) and I thought I'd check in & update you on the goings on around the Purple Brick Road.

First of all, we had our baby!

Kinsye Raye was born on Christmas morning. After only 5 (that's FIVE!) hours of active labor, she made her debut, weighing in at 8 pounds, 12 ounces.

She is fantastic! We love having a little girl in the family, and she's already got her big brothers wrapped around her title finger.

There have been a few hiccups (actually, she's had a LOT. Of hiccups), but just a couple of glitches for her. She has the reflux. Meds are helping with that. And she has a sensitivity to the dairy that I was consuming. Notice I said, "was?" That's because I have had to give up all dairy.

All. Dairy.

Nearly half of my diet consists of cow's milk and its various products, so it's been a real challenge. A couple of my friends introduced me to almond milk, which is a great substitute. It's definitely better than soy milk.

Kinsye's doing much better now that all that milk protein is getting out of our systems.

I've also been knitting up a storm, but I'm not sure I'll be sharing much of that here. I'm thinking of reviving the knitting blog for details on my knitting, spinning, & sewing projects. I might still do a "fiber Friday" post here, just to share photos & basics. What do you think?

I have also continued to try out Pinterest ideas! I've had some great successes... And a couple of epic failures. I've been documenting all of it in photo form and will be posting some of that in coming weeks.

So, dear readers (if there are any of you left) how have you been?

How Many Children Do you Have?

How many children do you have?

It is a questions we moms get asked on a regular basis. It's a question we pregnant moms get asked on a daily basis.

It should be an easy answer, right? Think of your children, count them up, and report the number. Simple, right?

Well, wait just a minute.

It turns out that this is a loaded question. Some people can use the above formula to come up with a correct answer - if their family is mostly identical to the Cleavers.

But others feel the need to qualify the number. This extra detail comes in many forms, but often sounds like this:

"I have four children; two from a previous marriage, and two step children."

"I have three; one with my ex-husband, and two with my current husband."

"We have two; one biological, and one we adopted from [fill in the blank]."

"I have two of my own, and I'm also raising my deadbeat brother's three kids while he's in prison."

"I have two adult children, and now I'm raising my daughter's four children while she gets back on her feet."

The possibilities and variations are endless.

In my case, the conversation usually goes something like this:

• Stranger: How many children do you have?
• Me: Four
• Stranger: Wow! How old are they?
• Me: Nine and four...
• Stranger: [looks at me like I'm an idiot who can't count to four]
• Me: ...plus one that we lost last year, and another one due to arrive this Christmas.
• Stranger: [still looking at me, but now like I'm some sort of freak] Oh, I'm sorry. How old was the one you lost?
• Me: We lost her the day before the end of the first trimester.
• Stranger: Oh. [At this point, the person will either repeat the sympathy & share some sweet sentiment, or look at me as though I've just grown noodles out of my hair follicles.]

See what I mean? There is a societal expectation to qualify, and when you are a person who believes that our children are ours from the start, you just never know what kind of response you'll get from the other person. I never intend to make others feel uncomfortable. But even people of faith sometimes react as though I am strange.

For me it is simple. I have four children: Tyson, Riley, Shalom, & SugarPlum.

The fact that I will not get to hold or hug or kiss Shalom on this side of Heaven does not make her any less my daughter than my older two. I carried her for 11 weeks, six days. I saw her heartbeat. I felt her move. She is every bit as much a blessing to me as my other children.

And the fact that I have yet to see, hold, cuddle, kiss (and, okay... pick a boy name for) SugarPlum does not make him/her any less my child than my older three.

I always feel that to neglect to mention my younger two children, especially the one who went to Heaven, is to deny them. To somehow ignore them or cheat them out of the Earthly family that loves them very much. Although others might not understand this, I cannot betray my little ones just to make a stranger or acquaintance feel more comfortable.

I know that not everyone is a person of faith. I know that not everyone believes that life begins at conception. (I don't understand that, but I know some people do.) But, is it really so hard to imagine that I love my babies from the very first second that I learn of them?


So, if I happen to meet you on the street, and you ask me how many children I have, please know that my answer will be four.  And when you ask me their names, genders, or ages, please do not look at me as if I am some deluded cultist who drank the Koolaid. I promise I'm (almost) just as normal as everyone else on the street... I'm just waiting to hold one of my children until I join her in our Forever Home.

Pregnancy Update - 28 Weeks!

Happy third trimester! This week is week number 28, which means that we are in the home stretch.

This is awesome because we are so eager to meet SugarPlum!

This is less than awesome because we still have so much to do!

I started the to-do list today, and was pretty overwhelmed. Luckily, this is our third time getting to this point, so it's old hat now. The biggest concern on my mind is being sure I have all my music therapy files in order for maternity leave; I want my sub to have an easy time of filling in for me.

Things that have changed:

Holy Swallowed-Watermelon, Batman. I am already feeling huge. I fear I will need a wheelbarrow to cart this giant belly around in by the end of this month! From the front and back I look mostly like I normally do (okay, I'm a little wider...) but that view does not prepare people for the profile view. I look like I'm smuggling a beach ball under my shirt!

The heartburn has returned. With a vengeance. I have it almost all the time - when I've eaten, when I'm hungry; when I'm standing up & when I'm lying down. It leaves a perpetual bad taste in my mouth, and I keep having these dreams that my esophagus looks like Swiss cheese.

My diaphragm is completely crowded. This is uncomfortable & makes it hard to catch my breath when I do strenuous activities like walking up stairs, tying my shoes, and standing up from my chair. Worse, though, is that I sort of need that muscle for singing (which, you know, is kind of important to a music therapist). I'm sounding a little breathy a lot of the time, and when you punctuate my singing with little hiccups and burps (thanks to the heartburn - see above), you can imagine that I sound really pretty right now.

Okay, so most of the above changes could be seen as complaints. But I'm really not complaining. I'm laughing at these changes (most of the time). The truth is that I feel fantastic! Those 3rd trimester hormones must have kicked in because I am feeling gooooooood.

Things that remain the same:

SugarPlum is still a Dancing Queen. Or King. My bladder is a dance floor and every day is a dance-dance-revolution. This one is more twitchy & jabby than my other two were. Tyson & Riley were more rolly & stretchy.

SugarPlum had his/her first bout of hiccups the other night! My belly twitched in perfect rhythm for about 4 minutes. It was fun to watch.

Speaking of watching things, Belly-Watching is becoming a regular pastime around here. The boys get so excited when they can feel or see the baby moving around. I can sit for hours and just watch the bumps and jabs.

I still get to eat sweets (in moderation, of course). My glucose test came back perfect, and my blood pressure is staying low. I have a serious sweet tooth, so the possibility of gestational diabetes is more frightening to me than any horror movie ever made. Except for The Exorcist, because, y'all, that was some really scary stuff.


Overall, things are going along nicely - I'm actually beginning to think this is really going to happen! The nesting instinct is starting to take over (in the last two weeks we completely redid our upstairs bathroom, I reorganized my pantry - twice, and I put the boys on new & very comprehensive routines for mornings & evenings).

OH, YEAH. We still don't have a boy name. We have a girl name, but as usual, the boy name continues to elude us. We choose a family name for the middle name, and a name we like for the first name. We already know that if it's a boy, the middle name will be Rayford, after my godfather.

Do you have any boy-name suggestions? HELP! We really need some ideas.